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Mortality / impermanence

By admin | Januar 30, 2015

….. I could begin with a flower which is going to die as soon as you picked it up, or for example a favorite shirt which your kid unfortunately grow out of in time………..

Fortunately*, I was meant to face mortality, the finally one,
the first when I was three years old. The picture in the back of my mind is a dead old great granny sitting in her wing chair and my mother beside me, holding my hand while condoling, which was common
in the country side in the sixties.

My next memory of a case of death was when I was in primary school.
The father of my best friend, living only a few houses beside ours, hanged himself and she came to be listened and consoled. Those two deaths, kind of prepared and helped me, to some years later let my grandparents go, once their time came to leave. My unforgotten grandpa left me behind this important one: “Not dead is dead. But forgotten is dead.”

In between there was love and work and happiness and giving birth to a wonderful daughter, meanwhile a happy mid twenty and other good life stuff, common trouble, separations, more work, meditation, learning, studying and finding my love too.

Much later now, in the last ten / eleven years,
first I had to face the death of my great love….

Next, my wonderful, amazing Buddhist teacher Hannah.
Next, my dear mother……..
Next, one of my best friends… a soul sister.
Next a wonderful little boy, suffering from cancer,
dying from enforced chemotherapy.
Next my “adopted” grandmother, aged 100 then, who I had taken
care about her last six years, after her grandson, my great love,
committed suicide, suffering from bipolar disorder since thirty years then.

The last one in this series was my father, who I loved deeply,
who was a good and strong man, a teacher, a musician and more…
He couldn’t find a good reason to fight his diseases, since the day
his beloved wife, my mother, died by an vital accident following the wrong medical treatment over three months in hospital.

To be honest as usual, in my view “by accident” doesn’t really exist.
I believe our day of death is more or less fixed, when we enter this life.
We can influence it by f. e. awareness – avoiding accidents or
harmful nutrition, environmental toxins and other aspects – but
first of all we should better be aware that we are finite and that life is short !

Therefore, I am thankful and can see it as a real fortune* that
I’ve been confronted with death this early. The minor ups and
downs of life meanwhile can’t harm me much. (usually) ;-)

That is not to say I can’t be sad, or cry about a loss of a beloved
being or sometimes facing sadness or feeling alone in a very
corrupt, unhealthy but still beautiful and lovable, even sunny world….

but… I gathered some strength …
to let go
to come to terms,
to share compassion,
to focus on here and now,
to see our love bonds are since beginningless time and immortal
to focus the important in everyday life and my work with others.

Best wishes and lots of love to you.
:-) Furthermore….. Be Happy !


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